VoiceOver 1st Grade – Rule #1 – “Listen Closely”

Like many, the members of my household have been forced to relearn a lot in recent months.

I have had to relearn how to re-prioritize my roles here at home. It became apparent in the early weeks and months that home-maker and caregiver of a young child had to be moved to the #1 position. My business needs had to unavoidably be pushed to 2nd, regardless of the cost.

My wife had to relearn her role too. She had to now get on-board with being out of the house all day at work and missing most of the daily goings-on here, while seeing my son and I thrive in our bond. Bit of a reversal of once-traditional household dynamic.

My son had to swallow the large, yucky pill of missing the last 3 months of Kindergarten. Then he had to wash that down with a tall glass of here!-your-dad-is-now-your-teacher-for-the-foreseeable-future! Poor kid.

Facilitating 1st grade via online apps and e-learning modules is not easy.

I’ve had to continue trying to run my business and continue my own education while also repeating some of it through him as well.  I have to be with him pretty much every step, even when he is engaged in the lesson. I can’t go far at all.

I’m basically back in 1st Grade full time, indefinitely.

But my exposure to his end of Kindergarten and beginning of 1st grade has given me a lot of unexpected insight as well. I recognize some of the basics of life and of interaction being taught and explained in plain terms, like I’m a 6 year old, and I chuckle at how simply they can still apply to adult interactions and business communications. Now that recess is over, let’s share what we’ve learned in this limited series of Inner Voice, called “VoiceOver 1st Grade”.

They call it “the basics” for good reason.

No better place to start than Rule #1 – “Listen Closely”.

Naturally, what’s also implied here is a nice, healthy dose of ‘put a sock in it and pay attention‘.

We gain the most and understand the wants, needs, and positions of others when we listen closely and actively. Follow along. Stay with them. Ask clarifying questions as needed, but Listen. Closely. And watch.

Not everyone speaks in the same rhythms or cadence. Not everyone processes data the same. Not everyone prioritizes the same way.

Not everyone sends information out in the same way.

Being in full-receiver mode at all times, whether it be with a six year old and his teacher or with a client, is your best play. Not the silent treatment, but just very attentive active listening.

Their words, but also their actions such as their body language and how they respond to certain things. What frustrates them about the process, what they love, what they dread, what they wish was better.

There’s important information to be found if you listen closely and look for it.

As a father/teacher, I cannot do what my son needs without listening closely to both the teacher and him together. I need to receive all the data I can in order to deliver on my end of the task. What she needs from him translates immediately to what she needs from me, and what he then needs from me.  What he needs from her still has to be picked up by me also, so I can translate it and bubble it up to her.

In the end, I learned where and how I was needed the most by him.

He needed me by his side, interacting with him and encouraging his learning, keeping the environment light and low-pressure for him so as to not traumatize him, and making the home schooling as fun as possible.

That was the message I received from him throughout the Spring and the early days of the new school year. So, right next to him all day is where I set up my work station. Together, we’re getting it done. And I confidently say that if I hold this course he will learn more than his 1st grade lessons this year.

As a narrator/studio owner, I have to give the same attention to my contacts in order to ensure the final product is perfect.

Their expectations have to be exceeded, not just in the work but also in the partnership with me and my studio. Often times they come for a narrator and end up getting a consultant and advisor on audio, or on the pacing of the story they’re telling, or more. In our talks I’ll listen for these opportunities to give them far more than their money’s worth.

A good example is a client of mine who, in an early conversation, expressed distress over the background noise in their previous audio as well as the dividing up of the recordings to assign specific sections to their project.  It actually felt really good to explain to them that I understood what they were saying very clearly, and more importantly that I could solve it for them. They needed more than a voice, and I made sure they got it all.

By listening closely, I was able to hear their pain and worry and was able to address it.

My son needs more than a dad right now. He needs a teacher, a tutor, a classmate, and a playmate. He needs someone to walk him through this and see him safely to the other side.

The end result of all this active listening will be much better, whether it is business or family.

“Someone always knows more.”

For the past several weeks to months, I have been doing no small amount of podcast homework. Before launching anything and trying to invent it as I go, I have to ensure I do my diligence and pin down as much as I can.

Could it grow on its own, organically as I progress? Sure, of course it can. I count on it doing just that.

But with what I already know about recording and producing, to the accessibility of a fairly vast network of people in various backgrounds and careers, I owe it to myself to have the best starting point as possible when guests start coming in. To be honest, I owe it to the guests as well.

I also knew it was time to relaunch a blog as well. Not just in addition to, but in conjunction with the podcast and utilizing my various platforms already in play.

I did this once before too, and I’m sure this will get touched on again as well. When I had bariatric surgery in 2012, I had about 4 full weeks notice from scheduling to surgery and I was given a checklist of must-do’s during that time as well. Things like Cardiologist visit, Pulmonologist, Psychological eval, and more.

This was going to be a process and a half in 28 days and would be a huge change in my life forever. I thought a method of documenting and sharing was in order. Thus I created http://sleeveforsteve.blogspot.com/. There, I documented my pre-op process in detail in hopes that readers considering the surgery would have solid reference and expectations. It was also a record for me to look back on someday as well.

I continued posting for over a year steadily before it trailed off. I don’t post there anymore and am unlikely to do so further. So this will be the main spot now. But the old one is still there if anyone wants to see it.

The podcast is going to be 1-on-1 coffee talks with eclectic guests on a variety of topics. So many people know more than I do and I want to learn from them as much as I can. I am talking with potential guests now, some of whom have changed their lives by changing their career and leaving their survival jobs as well as some who have also had the surgery. I will also be bringing on guests who have helped change other people’s lives through kindness and generosity. Imagine something closer to talk radio as opposed to straight interview Q&A.

Similar to this blog, there will be a focus on people’s inner voices and the relationships they have with them. Not everyone’s path is linear. Not all progress is straight forward. Not all who wander are lost. These themes, among others, are very important to me and I am sure will cause my guests and I to enlighten each other, as well as enlighten listeners and viewers.

This will give us plenty of topics to discuss and react to/expand on for shows. I do not fancy myself a guru of any kind, no self-help expert or motivational speaker-type, but rather a regular normal person with a story of how I got here and where I’m going. Along the way I encounter others like me and am interested in how they got there and where they too are going.

My inner voice and I agree fully that these discussions will provide knowledge, perspective, and strength. I am a big advocate of listening closely to people’s stories and trying to find a parallel to our own for the purposes of growth and learning. In general, we’ve become people who don’t listen anymore. We don’t take the time to internalize the meaning and purpose of the message we are being sent. We have stopped “receiving” and are only sending now. Pure output, no input. I vehemently oppose such a doctrine and will always do my part to fight against it. By listening, truly listening, I can benefit and gain from the information I am receiving. If it then allows me to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes and learn from their trip, then I save myself having to walk that mile myself and pay the cost of doing so.

Not to mention the fact that the sender of this information will appreciate being truly heard. Never underestimate that.

I made life changes in the past decade because I was heading like a rocket to being a sad, cautionary tale for others and I just simply could not allow or accept that. In doing so, my journey has presented me with challenges, hard lessons, and new growth. Some of the above came from others as well, because I knew their information and experiences were not only important, but also applicable.

Never stop learning. Mr Miyagi was right, someone always knows more. Your inner voice wants and needs that information and that knowledge from others in order to be able to fully communicate with you. Don’t keep yourself in the dark on purpose.